I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
