i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
