I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
