can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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