Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
