just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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