Texts From Last Night

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  (896): View more from

  i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.

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  (896): i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself. http://tfl.nu/abgv
  Replies (9) Good night (3400) Bad night (836)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer

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  (253): I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer http://tfl.nu/v4f1
  Replies (32) Good night (5517) Bad night (1196)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.

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  (443): I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people. http://tfl.nu/qtnv
  Replies (30) Good night (6480) Bad night (1346)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.

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  (515): She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself. http://tfl.nu/imt6
  Replies (8) Good night (4568) Bad night (1269)
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  (914): View more from New York

  2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine

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  (914): 2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine http://tfl.nu/wmh7
  Replies (46) Good night (4764) Bad night (2762)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.

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  (571): I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet. http://tfl.nu/230n
  Replies (5) Good night (2895) Bad night (1055)
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  (209): View more from California

  found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.

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  (209): found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised. http://tfl.nu/cxq4
  Replies (7) Good night (1073) Bad night (3784)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl

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  (250): i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl http://tfl.nu/d9d2
  Replies (3) Good night (825) Bad night (2368)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.

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  (404): FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall. http://tfl.nu/m2zy
  Replies (7) Good night (3159) Bad night (709)
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  (315): View more from New York

  My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.

  (1-315): View more from New York

  I fucking hate you.

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  (315): My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present. (1-315): I fucking hate you. http://tfl.nu/u3wv
  Replies (9) Good night (1883) Bad night (386)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.

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  (813): This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny. http://tfl.nu/7jk5
  Replies (8) Good night (1756) Bad night (433)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?

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  (870): She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her? http://tfl.nu/qt09
  Replies (3) Good night (1528) Bad night (297)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.

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  (862): I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud. http://tfl.nu/zssg
  Replies (7) Good night (1102) Bad night (300)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest

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  (662): The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance (1-662): Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest http://tfl.nu/10xm
  Replies (2) Good night (1080) Bad night (221)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna

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  (416): 7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna http://tfl.nu/ilm9
  Replies (2) Good night (227) Bad night (366)

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