Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.