Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.

(1405): View more from

I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?

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(720): View more from Colorado

Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(973): View more from New Jersey

An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me

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(516): View more from New York

We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...

(918): View more from Oklahoma

Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...

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(775): View more from Nevada

He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this

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(620): View more from Kansas

My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..

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