Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(260): View more from Indiana

We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?

(708): View more from Illinois

We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.

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(440): View more from Ohio

By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas

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(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(910): View more from North Carolina

Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.

(770): View more from Georgia

That's the only definition of lonely that I know.

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(703): View more from Virginia

From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either

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(713): View more from Texas

Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"

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(704): View more from North Carolina

For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.

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