it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
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I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
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I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.