Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
accomplished twins. life is a go
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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