Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
