I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
