you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
