I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
