I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize