My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
