I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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