Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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