Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
