i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Randomize
