She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
