They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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