Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
