EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
