I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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