They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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