its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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