Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hands were made for my vagina.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize