wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
