summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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