i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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