You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
