Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
