my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
