Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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