Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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