i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
