Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize