I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
