everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize