I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
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