it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
