i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
