i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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