Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
