You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
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Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
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Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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