Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
