True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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