This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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