ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
