It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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