4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
