apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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