He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
