Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
