Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
