im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
