i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
