Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
