Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
